We all dream don’t we? And today of all days i had this this dream which i cannot define as to why i had or what was it. In simple words i can say it was the weirdest and the most scariest thing that i’ve ever seen till date which sent shivers down my spine and i really can’t get it out of my head. So i decided the best way to get it off my chest was to write about it. Lets begin now shall we?

Jump back to my childhood home. And to let you guys know a basic layout of the place i used to live in, i’ll describe that area a wee bit. It was a colony with a HUGE park at the center of it and god knows how many buildings and apartments. I used to live in a house which was in the corner of my lane and the way from the park to my house was pretty straight forward and short.

So. The dream begins and it’s just me and my friend walking through the park towards my house with no one to be seen and only silence to be heard. We don’t think of the situation as to being unusual and continue our march. Almost at the exit and the weather goes dark, like a huge storm is about to hit us. The best way for you to understand it is lets say the “grey” filter from the movies was applied to our surroundings. I look up and all i see is a sea of vultures flying over my head. And all of a sudden i hear a million dogs crying all at once. I look forward and i see Grim Reaper sulking into the corner as he was there only to make sure that i saw him and notice that he was hiding from my sight. For reasons unknown i don’t say anything and leave the park. At the gate of the park i turn around and tell my friend that “someone’s trying to kill me”. He looks at me, laughs and says “you are out of your mind. Shut up and enjoy the beautiful weather.” I just look back again and i see an old man with only half a face who has a huge rifle aimed at me. I duck down and run towards my street. My friend disappears and i see two snakes battling or playing and when i stop near them they just look and me and “hiss” as to they were trying to tell me something. I couldn’t get it so i ignore that and walk towards my house when suddenly a guy comes running towards me with a bucket of acid in his hands. My legs just stops responding so i duck down on that very spot. A couple minutes later i look up again and see that the man has disappeared and there a stray dog standing right there and barking at me with a volume so loud that it will tear my eardrums. I run towards my house and the dog just stands there barking. Right when i stop, take a breath and am happy that i am about to enter my house i see what appears to be atleast a dozen nuns all with bloodied knives and cleavers in their hands. I stop and look at them for a second and they just do the same. I start taking steps backwards and they start moving towards me. I get scared and i start increasing my pace but so do they. Scared and Panicked i fall down on my head running backwards and at that very moment i wake up. Scared. Breathing heavily and Sweating.

I know it’s nothing worth writing but it is a story after all. And the part that is bothering me the most is that i was scared and defenceless in my own dream. It felt like i was transported into some other reality or someone else’s dream who hates me. It’s just scary and uncomfortable at least to me so i figured maybe writing about it will make me not think about it anymore.

Anyway, thanks for reading something personal of mine.




“A kernel panic, also known as computer death or PC death, is an action taken by an operating system upon detecting an internal fatal error from which it cannot safely recover.”

” Begin: Mounting root file system…  …

/init: /init: 151: syntax error:  0xforce=panic

Kernel panic – not syncing: Attempted to kill init!

That was the very definition of KP and below that was what possibly what the error screen will show you if  your system undergoes KP.

But is it what you see when you und3rg0 a kernel panic?

I know that question doesn’t make much sense as i cl3arly am talking about computers here and asking if it happens to you. But th1nk it through. Just because ‘kernel’ is attached to ‘panic’ it possibly cann0t mean it is limited to a c0mput3r.  At the end of the day we(humans) are no d1ff3rent from these machines.

This term fa5cinat3s me so much that i figured we can talk about it. But the twist is, instead of talking bout a computers kernel panic lets talk about 0urs.

Ever b33n in a situation that sw00p the ground from under your feet? Or a situation filled with embarrassment or f3ar? Say no, and i found a liar. We all have been there, at least once at some point in our l1fe. I, for sure have been there a m1lli0n times. And whenever that happens to us, no matter how big or 5mall it is, it takes time for us to recover from it doesn’t it? That’s our version of kernel panic, sorta. It’s that time period be7w3en that moment and us recovering from that moment. The stage where all hell breaks lose for atleast a 5pl1t  second and our system reb00ts itself to get back to it’s normal state.

Think about all the people who have been sc4rr3d by something that happened to them or something that they did. People who are 5uic1dal  or on the brink of collapse. We simply pat their 5hould3rs and claim that “they are going through a tough time” but the truth is that an internal fatal error was tr1gger3d  in them which led them to a state from which they cannot easily be r3c0ver3d. Thus, a kernel panic. it can be from anything, problem in their m0ral code(internal system issue) or through an external f0rce(a virus) which led them to this blue screen of d3ath(panic). Now, when your system undergoes something like this you tr4ck its source and depending on the source you resolve it either by yourself or through the help of an engineer or a h4cker. But which hacker or engineer helps us when we go thr0ugh the same situation? None. And that’s the beauty of it. The c0nfigurat1on within us is so advance that after living under a r0ck for a bit it reboots itself automatically. Ain’t that fa5cinat1ng? And for those who couldn’t make through it (god bless them) is probably b3c4use they were due for a software update. We have all our friends and families to help us through t1m3s like that but our recovery doesn’t happen because of their g00dw1ll but because of us realising that it’s time for us to drop the charades and 5tand back up. It’s because of us processing and logging all of that data into a server and making that s5erv3r our own honeypot. When the motherboard collapses it still has the support of the other h4rdwar3 but that support doesn’t do much for it now does it? We ourself are our engineers or hackers. We f1x ourselves. So, don’t worry if you have something within y0urs3lf that scares or embarrasses or kills you. No matter how dark or light it may be it’s upt0 you to fix it and not run away from it. That’s the only difference between these m4ch1n3s and us, an external force fixes theirs, where as we fix our own kernel panic. So don’t be 5car3d. Shut down your system, r3b00t it, update your software and trust me you’ll be good to go k1dd0.

At the end of the day, one difference doesn’t make us all that d1ff3rent  from these beloved m4ch1nes of ours. Does it?


What is real? A question that begs for an answer. If you ask me it’s just a state of mind. Everything including opinions, perspectives, statements etc. change based on the reality of the situation. But what is real in actuality? Money? Fame? Success? A big house? Cars? Come on you are bigger than that! Smart enough to understand that all of this is fake. Allow me to take you on a trip and tamper a little with your head. Oh! a statutory warning is underway from this point on. And if you are under the influence of drugs this will give you one hell of a trip.

Think about everyone you know, love and hate. Everyplace you have ever been to. Every dream you have lived. Every memory you have made. Now close your eyes and think about the one power, the one driving force, the one ultimate thing that everyone on this planet believes in, one way or another. God. It has been said, through the ages we are all his kids. But what if that isn’t true? I mean there are so many people on this planet both good and evil how can god look after so many of his kids? That’s where the reality of the situation steps in.

Imagine you and only you are gods sole creation. Created with the gift of imagination. Imagination that is so deep, so powerful it can make wonders happen. So powerful that anything no matter how big or complex can rise and stand in a matter of seconds. Now with that much power what would a being, who is alone do? You are that being and you have created this world. The world we live in. The world which consists of all your friends and family. The world we call earth. And places beyond that. Every person you have ever known, seen or met is just a figment of your imagination. Everything that has ever happened to you is part of your imagination. Just think about it. Think about the world beyond the point at which you are standing. Is it even functioning? Or will it start to function once you get close enough just like in a video game. You have created something that is bigger than yourself and is just waiting to be explored. You wanted to visit Mars when you were a kid and in just a few years you got the power to do so. And if you are thinking why didn’t that happen instantly if i wanted it to happen? Well, maybe after having so much power within yourself you decided to live normally and simply and let time be the judge of the situation instead of getting everything you want instantly. This can mean that you are the person you worship. You are the participant and the mastermind of this matrix. You are god. Maybe. Maybe not. You be the judge of that. And before you call me crazy think about the world you live in. You have even named things that do not exist. Like days, months and dates. I mean how is a Monday different from a Friday? Does the sky change its colour or scream out loud “IT’S MONDAY“? If it does I haven’t seen that then. The world is that fake. Fake enough that you need days and dates to be happy or sad, active or lethargic, joyful or pissed. So what is real then? You might get the answer to that question once you are dead but till then you will have to wait. Till then either you can believe in “I am the one who’s real” or you can stay happy with the illusion of your McChicken being real. The choice is yours.

But, if you believe that you are real then close your eyes again think about all of this and wonder. Otherwise you have all the money in the world to keep you busy right?